So I think everyone knows that today is the day Prince William marries Kate Middleton. Its a wonderful and happy occasion, a couple who so obviously love each other. And of course the modern day fairytale - a normal girl marries her prince charming, its what all of us girls really want. She looked stunning, her parents so proud, and the prince so happy with his beautiful new bride.
It makes me think of Andy today; its cheesy to say but he was my prince charming, we loved each other so much and dreamed of the fairy tale wedding. I can still picture it now, even more with everything about the royal wedding all over the television, radio and internet. Love songs, flowers, dresses, its all planned out in my head but never to come true.
Our story started when I finished my first year of university, we met at the pub through mutual friends. Instantly I noticed him; he was cheeky, a bit flirty, funny, and charming. Over the next few weeks we started to get to know each other, I knew he liked me because he had been talking to my friend about me a lot, I just had to wait for him to ask me out. Its not a particularly romantic story, our first date was out to the cinema, I had to drive, but he paid for the tickets and ice creams. From there our relationship started, seeing each other more often, talking every day. Unfortunately we both knew that it wouldn't be long until I had to leave to go back to university. We knew we wanted to stay together, and everything worked out fine, with regular visits, phone calls and texts. In between visits we missed each other dearly, but the best relationships work if there's heartache involved, it made us love each other more and appreciate the time we spent together.
Now I have a very long time to wait for Andy, I appreciate all of the times we spent together but I'm still sad that we can't spend any more together. I have to rethink all of my future plans now, my fairytale wedding will have to wait until I find a prince charming who could compete with my wonderful Andrew, although I'm sure no one could ever replace him. If he was still around he would pull a cute jealous face and tell me I'm not allowed to be with anyone else, I'm his and only his.
I wish today I could be sat watching the royal wedding with my boy, talking about our own future plans. He used to call me his princess and tell me I deserved all of the presents he gave me because I should be treated as such. He was generous, loving and kind.
Andrew will always be special to me, my first love, and my inspiration for living in the future. A month on I still treasure his memory and everything I do is for him, even if it is hard. I am using his bravery to inspire me to live each day to the fullest, enjoy the little things and the memories, push to fight cancer for him so others don't have to go through what I've been through these past few weeks.
I wish William and Kate every happiness in their marriage, and to everyone else who has got married today. Its impossible to be sad on a day like today.
Friday 29 April 2011
Wednesday 27 April 2011
An Introduction
Firstly, I should introduce myself. I am 21 years old, I go to the university of Warwick and am in my final year, just about to sit my final exams. I'm not a religious person, although my beliefs have changed in the recent weeks, but this isn't a blog about that.
Almost two years ago, I met an extraordinary person called Andrew. A month ago Andrew died of cancer; he was only 20. When we first met he was in remission from cancer, he'd had it bad as a teenager but had fought it and was starting to live a normal life again. We fell in love almost instantly. We had a happy 19 months together, possibly the best 19 months of his life, and the healthiest. A few weeks before my 21st birthday, Andrew came down with a slight ear infection; nothing to worry about, a dose of antibiotics should sort it out. This wasn't the case and he started becoming more and more ill, and went back to the doctors the day after my birthday to get it checked; a severe throat infection they said, have some stronger antibiotics. Less than a week later he was rushed to the hospital where he sadly passed away. The postmortem revealed it was the cancer which had come back so suddenly and so aggressively, he wouldn't have been able to fight it, even if they had caught it sooner.
So now I find myself widowed aged 21, having to do my final exams with a broken heart and a massive part of my life missing. Andrew was not just my boyfriend, we had so many plans for the future; he was planning on proposing once I had finished university (he had been saving up for a ring for several months), we knew we wanted to live together, get married, have children, we just didn't have the time to do any of those things.
2011 was supposed to be a really amazing year; my 21st birthday, graduating from university, getting engaged to the man I love, starting my life properly. Now its empty and looking forward is just a blur. I have to take it one day at a time and live for him.
I know, sadly, there are other people out there like me who have lost someone they love so so young, and so I hope to be able to help others by posting my journey as I live it.
Almost two years ago, I met an extraordinary person called Andrew. A month ago Andrew died of cancer; he was only 20. When we first met he was in remission from cancer, he'd had it bad as a teenager but had fought it and was starting to live a normal life again. We fell in love almost instantly. We had a happy 19 months together, possibly the best 19 months of his life, and the healthiest. A few weeks before my 21st birthday, Andrew came down with a slight ear infection; nothing to worry about, a dose of antibiotics should sort it out. This wasn't the case and he started becoming more and more ill, and went back to the doctors the day after my birthday to get it checked; a severe throat infection they said, have some stronger antibiotics. Less than a week later he was rushed to the hospital where he sadly passed away. The postmortem revealed it was the cancer which had come back so suddenly and so aggressively, he wouldn't have been able to fight it, even if they had caught it sooner.
So now I find myself widowed aged 21, having to do my final exams with a broken heart and a massive part of my life missing. Andrew was not just my boyfriend, we had so many plans for the future; he was planning on proposing once I had finished university (he had been saving up for a ring for several months), we knew we wanted to live together, get married, have children, we just didn't have the time to do any of those things.
2011 was supposed to be a really amazing year; my 21st birthday, graduating from university, getting engaged to the man I love, starting my life properly. Now its empty and looking forward is just a blur. I have to take it one day at a time and live for him.
I know, sadly, there are other people out there like me who have lost someone they love so so young, and so I hope to be able to help others by posting my journey as I live it.
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