An Introduction

Firstly, I should introduce myself. I am 21 years old, I go to the university of Warwick and am in my final year, just about to sit my final exams. I'm not a religious person, although my beliefs have changed in the recent weeks, but this isn't a blog about that.

Almost two years ago, I met an extraordinary person called Andrew. A month ago Andrew died of cancer; he was only 20. When we first met he was in remission from cancer, he'd had it bad as a teenager but had fought it and was starting to live a normal life again. We fell in love almost instantly. We had a happy 19 months together, possibly the best 19 months of his life, and the healthiest. A few weeks before my 21st birthday, Andrew came down with a slight ear infection; nothing to worry about, a dose of antibiotics should sort it out. This wasn't the case and he started becoming more and more ill, and went back to the doctors the day after my birthday to get it checked; a severe throat infection they said, have some stronger antibiotics. Less than a week later he was rushed to the hospital where he sadly passed away. The postmortem revealed it was the cancer which had come back so suddenly and so aggressively, he wouldn't have been able to fight it, even if they had caught it sooner.

So now I find myself widowed aged 21, having to do my final exams with a broken heart and a massive part of my life missing. Andrew was not just my boyfriend, we had so many plans for the future; he was planning on proposing once I had finished university (he had been saving up for a ring for several months), we knew we wanted to live together, get married, have children, we just didn't have the time to do any of those things.

2011 was supposed to be a really amazing year; my 21st birthday, graduating from university, getting engaged to the man I love, starting my life properly. Now its empty and looking forward is just a blur. I have to take it one day at a time and live for him.

I know, sadly, there are other people out there like me who have lost someone they love so so young, and so I hope to be able to help others by posting my journey as I live it.