Woo! Just got out of my second exam - only two more left now, then its all over forever, no more exams ever!
Sitting an exam whilst grieving is a very odd experience; its the only time where I don't think about Andy because I have to be so focussed on my work that everything else leaves my mind. I feel slightly guilty when I'm not thinking about him, or when I'm having a good day, but its a feeling I know I'm going to have to get used to. Eventually the thoughts will fade, I know that, but for now I like to hold on to them and think of him at every possible moment so I don't forget anything.
To be honest, despite everything, I think I'm doing pretty well in my exams so far. On talking to other people, they all seemed not very confident about it, whereas I was happy with how it had gone. It makes me feel better because other people are struggling and they don't have half the problems that I do. I got the marks back for the essay I had to write at the beginning of term. Turned out I did really well, got 68% which was better than my mark on the first essay from the previous term. I was surprised because I didn't spend much time on it and I didn't put much effort in. Shows that I can still do it despite everything!
I'm very much looking forward to tomorrow (sat) as one of my best friends is coming up to visit me. Its a good day for her to come up as its two months tomorrow since he died, so we can find something to do to take my mind off of it. Think we're going to go to the cinema to see The Hangover Part 2 which I'm quite excited about!
So, almost two months on, things are starting to look up a bit. I've got less than two weeks left at university, I feel like I'm doing well on my exams, and I have some fantastic friends. I think I'm going to get through this!
No comments:
Post a Comment