Jobs Continued

So maybe there is hope for me just yet; I had a really bad day the other day, but things got better yesterday. Not getting the job really knocked me back, I was an absolute mess all day and night; I found myself pleading for something good because everything else is just crap right now. The following day, completely out of the blue, a company I had previously applied to and got a polite "we've already hired our staff for the year, but will keep your CV on file" email back from, emailed me again saying they had another position available and wanted me to go for an interview.

To be honest I was in shock; I sat there staring at it for several minutes, unsure of whether it was real or not. The only thing the email was missing was a little note at the bottom from Andrew telling to keep going and life isn't as bad as I think it is. I just felt like all my pleading from the previous night, the tears, the lack of sleep, it had obviously got through and I got my good thing that I wanted. Yes, I would have preferred it if my lottery ticket had been a winner, but hey its better than nothing. Its only an interview but its the boost I really needed, and I have something to focus on now.

Although I do have this interview for an accountants job, I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life. I'm not sure if I want to be stuck behind a desk all of my life; I want to travel, do something I'm passionate about etc. My best friend, who has been reading my blog because she's a stalker, told me she agreed with my comment about being a teacher. She's known me the longest out of everyone I know so she's the best judge of what I should and shouldn't do with my life. Its something I'm seriously considering. If nothing comes of this interview I have then I can look at what I need for a successful application on to a teaching course. They're always crying out for maths teachers, and I think I would be good at it. I'm not sure how many people knew, but Andy told me that he had wanted to be a teacher (if he couldn't be a professional footballer or golfer), unfortunately the world got in the way. He also wanted to go on the Apprentice, but I don't think I can live that one for him!

With regards to my interview, I'm not sure whether or not to tell them my situation. I emailed the guy back straight away and decided I wouldn't say anything, but its sure to come up. I tried looking online for help but there's isn't really much good advice out there for someone in my unique situation. I couldn't find the words to say it either; I should never have to admit that my degree classification might not be that good because I'm grieving after the sudden death of my boyfriend.

I'm slightly worried about depression. I was looking up for things that might help me sleep better (herbal remedies don't work) and I clicked a link to depression and took a quiz. It told me I was high risk of being depressed, but I don't believe it. Yes I do feel sad quite often, and my appetite is lower than usual, and I do struggle to sleep, but that's not necessarily depression, its just grief. Its true what they say, there are good days and bad days, I'm just hoping the good starts to outweigh the bad soon.